Parenting Forum

Science Daily, Reports - First Course of Veggies Appeal to Hungry Preschoolers

2010-05-08T00:18:00Z

The below excerpt is taken directly from Science Daily:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/05/100505152451.htm

ScienceDaily (May 7, 2010) — Increasing the amount of vegetables in the first course of preschool lunch could be a smart way to get children to eat more vegetables, according to Penn State nutrition researchers.

"We have shown that you can use portion size strategically to encourage children and adults to eat more of the foods that are high in nutrients but low in calories," said Barbara J. Rolls, Helen A. Guthrie Chair of Nutritional Sciences.

Rolls and her Penn State colleagues study how varying the portions of fruit and vegetable side dishes can be used to raise vegetable consumption in children and adults.
...

"We gave the children carrots first without other competing foods," explained Rolls. "When they are hungry at the start of the meal, it presents us with an opportunity to get them to eat more vegetables."

According to Maureen Spill, graduate student in nutrition and study co-author, the findings challenge the conventional belief that children won't eat vegetables. It also provides parents a simple strategy to get their children eating a more healthy and nutritious diet, she added.

"The great thing about this study is the very clear and easy message for parents and care-givers that while you are preparing dinner, put some vegetables out for your children to snack on while they're hungry," said Spill. "Parents also need to set an example by eating vegetables while children are young and impressionable."

Other researchers in the two studies include Leann L. Birch, Distinguished Professor of human development; Liane S. Roe, research nutritionist, and Jennifer S. Meengs, lab manager, all at Penn State

The National Institutes of Health and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation supported this work.

New Study: The magnitude of health benefits linked to breastfeeding...

2010-04-05T16:00:00Z

April 5, 2010

CHICAGO (AP) — The lives of nearly 900 babies
would be saved each year, along with billions of
dollars, if 90% of U.S. women breast-fed their babies
for the first six months of life, a cost analysis says.

Those startling results, published online Monday in
the journal Pediatrics, are only an estimate…

The findings suggest that there are hundreds of
deaths and many more costly illnesses each year
from health problems that breast-feeding may help
prevent. These include stomach viruses, ear
infections, asthma, juvenile diabetes, Sudden Infant
Death Syndrome and even childhood leukemia.

The magnitude of health benefits linked to breast-
feeding is vastly underappreciated, said lead author
Dr. Melissa Bartick, an internist and instructor at
Harvard Medical School. Breast-feeding is
sometimes considered a lifestyle choice, but Bartick
calls it a public health issue.

Among the benefits: Breast milk contains antibodies
that help babies fight infections; it also can affect
insulin levels in the blood, which may make breast-
fed babies less likely to develop diabetes and
obesity.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2010-04-05-study-breast-feeding_N.htm

Outdoor Play - Where did all of the children go?

2010-03-20T15:29:00Z

Daily outdoor play is a wonderfully enjoyable part of our program here at Little Tot’s Early Childhood Care & Education. Throughout all seasons of the year, children have the opportunity to experience many exciting adventures outdoors. We long for the days of sun, but daily rejoice in the opportunity to run and jump, scream and holler, and to just be free.

Generations ago, children spent the majority of time outdoors. Children’s programming was limited, and parents expected children to play with the neighborhood children, they did not worry as we do today, nor did they regularly schedule activities for their child to be involved in.

Here at Little Tot’s we definitely cherish these outdoor play experiences and make this time a key part of our day. Weather permitting all children, even babies are taken outside, this is a school policy, implemented for the health and well-being of all children enrolled.

Below is an excerpt from the book A Place for Play:

“Most adults recall the joy of childhood time spent outdoors. Whether you played in the backyard, explored the local wild lands, participated in periodic hiking and camping adventures, maintained a garden, or just became engrossed in a wooded window view from a classroom, you are likely to have fond childhood memories of nature and the outdoors. You also may have an intuitive sense that nature is good for us – in particular, that the natural environment is beneficial to children.”

“Recognizing the recent demise of spontaneous outdoor activity, Richard Louv heralds the need for a Leave No Child Inside movement … Using our vanished frontier as a marker of American’s relationship to nature, his last Child in Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder sets the stage for understanding how children themselves have become our last frontier. Their bodies, minds, and spirits are now contested ground in our changing global order. Choices made by planning and school boards, parks and corporations, families and legislators today will determine how the next generation envisions the future and reshapes the earth.”

“Exposure to natural settings has been associated with enhanced cognitive function and diminished stress… Brain studies demonstrate that play is a vehicle for increasing neural structures, and a means by which all children practice the skills they will need in later life.”

Goodenough, E. N. (2008). A Place for Play. United States: National Institute for Play.

The Value of School Recess and Outdoor Play

Source: National Association for the Education of Young Children

The delights of the outdoors are among the deepest, most passionate joys of childhood, however increasing demands on parents working outside of the home have resulted in growing numbers of children with less time to play under adult supervision in their neighborhoods or in their yards. Instead, they are spending more time behind locked doors watching television, playing video and computer games, and as recent studies have shown, growing obese. Other children often have afternoon schedules full of structured activities, including music, dance instruction, drama classes, and tennis lessons.

Compounding the dilemma is a trend among many public school districts throughout the United States to eliminate recess in elementary schools. Those doing away with outdoor activity claim that it is a waste of time better spent on academics, that playground injuries promote lawsuits, that children are at an increased risk of coming in contact with threatening strangers while outdoors, and that there is a shortage of teachers and volunteers willing to supervise play activities.

While these concerns are valid, school recess is often the only time during the work week that children are able to be carefree--a time when their bodies and voices are not under tight control.

It is a widely held view that unstructured physical play is a developmentally appropriate outlet for reducing stress in children’s lives, and research shows that physical activity improves children’s attentiveness and decreases restlessness. Following are a few reasons why school administrators should carefully consider the benefits of outdoor play before eliminating recess from their curriculum.

Play is an active form of learning that unites the mind, body, and spirit. Until at least the age of nine, children’s learning occurs best when the whole self is involved.
Play reduces the tension that often comes with having to achieve or needing to learn. In play, adults do not interfere and children relax.
Children express and work out emotional aspects of everyday experiences through unstructured play.
Children permitted to play freely with peers develop skills for seeing things through another person’s point of view--cooperating, helping, sharing, and solving problems.
The development of children’s perceptual abilities may suffer when so much of their experience is through television, computers, books, work-sheets, and media that require only two senses. The senses of smell, touch, and taste, and the sense of motion through space are powerful modes of learning.
Children who are less restricted in their access to the outdoors gain competence in moving through the larger world. Developmentally, they should gain the ability to navigate their immediate environs (in safety) and lay the foundation for the courage that will enable them eventually to lead their own lives.

Our society has become increasingly complex, but there remains a need for every child to feel the sun and wind on his cheek and engage in self-paced play. Children’s attempts to make their way across monkey bars, negotiate the hopscotch course, play jacks, or toss a football require intricate behaviors of planning, balance, and strength--traits we want to encourage in children. Ignoring the developmental functions of unstructured outdoor play denies children the opportunity to expand their imaginations beyond the constraints of the classroom.

Additional Resources

Rivkin, M.S. 1995. The Great Outdoors: Restoring Children’s Right to Play Outside. Washington, DC: NAEYC. #108/$8

Rogers, C.S. and Sawyers, J.K. 1988. Play in the Lives of Children. Washington, DC. NAEYC. #301/$6

INFANT SLING RECALL!

2010-03-13T01:45:00Z

All information following was retrieved from the sites below:
WASHINGTON — The government warned Friday that those chic baby slings that hip moms and dads are sporting these days can be dangerous, even deadly for their little ones.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission said it has investigated at least 13 deaths associated with sling-style infant carriers over the last 20 years, including three deaths last year. One other case involving a fatality is still being investigated. Twelve of the deaths involved babies younger than four months of age, the agency said.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5htPrDure9F79qWev1dOcmVaud0tgD9EDBOG81

Because infants who are only a few months old have weak neck muscles, making them unable to control their heads, the CPSC warns of two ways an infant may suffocate in a sling. If the soft fabric of the sling covers the child’s nose or mouth or the sling presses the child’s face into the wearer’s body, it could obstruct the breathing and suffocate the infant in a matter of minutes. The infant’s breathing may also be restricted or obstructed if the sling holds the infant in a curled position with the chin toward the chest, causing the infant to suffocate while unable to cry for help.

http://newyorkcity.injuryboard.com/defective-and-dangerous-products/warning-of-infant-deaths-with-popular-baby-slings.aspx?googleid=279448

Here's the CSPC's advice:

·                                 Place the child chin up with its face clearly visible and its nose and mouth free of    the fabric.

·                                 Check on the child often.

·                                 If nursing a child in a sling, change the baby's position after feeding so its head is facing up and clear of both the sling and the mother's body.

·                                 Do not allow the sling to cover the baby's face.

·                                 Do not carry the child too low in the sling.

·                                 Do not carry the child hunched with its chin touching its chest.

·                                 Do not carry the baby with its face pressed tight against the wearer of the sling.

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20100312/infant-deaths-spur-baby-sling-warning

Youtube video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxIzlTl46ic

10 Signs of a Great Preschool

2010-03-06T18:33:00Z

Founded in 1926, NAEYC is the world's largest organization working on behalf of young children with nearly 100,000 members, a national network of over 300 local, state, and regional Affiliates, and a growing global alliance of like-minded organizations.

All information which follows has been reprinted from NAEYC's article titled 10 Signs of a Great Preschool.

If your child is between the ages of 3 and 6 and attends a child care center, preschool, or kindergarten program, the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) suggests you look for these 10 signs to make sure your child is in a good classroom.

Children spend most of their playing and working with materials or other children. They do not wander aimlessly, and they are not expected to sit quietly for long periods of time.
Children have access to various activities throughout the day. Look for assorted building blocks and other construction materials, props for pretend play, picture books, paints and other art materials, and table toys such as matching games, pegboards, and puzzles. Children should not all be doing the same thing at the same time.
Teachers work with individual children, small groups, and the whole group at different times during the day. They do not spend all their time with the whole group.
The classroom is decorated with children's original artwork, their own writing with invented spelling, and stories dictated by children to teachers.
Children learn numbers and the alphabet in the context of their everyday experiences. The natural world of plants and animals and meaningful activities like cooking, taking attendance, or serving snack provide the basis for learning activities.
Children work on projects and have long periods of time (at least one hour) to play and explore. Worksheets are used little if at all.
Children have an opportunity to play outside every day. Outdoor play is never sacrificed for more instructional time.
Teachers read books to children individually or in small groups throughout the day, not just at group story time.
Curriculum is adapted for those who are ahead as well as those who need additional help. Teachers recognize that children's different background and experiences mean that they do not learn the same things at the same time in the same way.
Children and their parents look forward to school. Parents feel secure about sending their child to the program. Children are happy to attend; they do not cry regularly or complain of feeling sick.

Chemistry of the human brain changes in response to our environments...

2010-02-28T02:49:00Z

In my research about brain development, violence and early learning, I happened upon a wonderfully well written scholarly article published in Childhood Education, Fall 2004, by Swick and Freeman, Nurturing Peaceful Children To Create a Caring World: The Role of Families and Communities. What I found to be particularly interesting is the information pertaining to the role Early Childhood Professionals play in supporting families and assuring healthy attachments between the children and their caregivers.

All information below is derived from the publication above, link to follow post.

The early years of life are the most responsive time in which to nurture a caring and loving approach to life (Swick, 2001). And the most powerful message that children receive about caring is how they are cared for themselves during the earliest years of life (Kitzrow, 1998).

…

Parents and other significant family members are the architects of much of children's early learning, especially in relation to their emotional and social growth (Goleman, 1995). It is through these continuing, intimate relationships (which may be with their biological parents, foster parents, an older sibling, or other significant persons who constitute a "family") that children acquire their initial schema on how the world works (Brazelton & Greenspan, 2000). When children have ongoing, loving relations with family members and other primary caregivers, they are likely to see the world as a good and nurturing place. As Swick (2001) notes, "The acquisition of caring and serving attributes is a constructivist process where children's involvement with parents and other significant adults is critical to their continued growth in becoming decent persons" (p. 132).

Adult role models provide children with visible schemas on how to love (Swick, 2001). Across cultures, children mimic what their parents and other significant adults do in their daily lives (Goleman, 1995). If adults are kind to each other, then their children will imitate this way of relating to others. Oliner and Oliner (1995) suggest four elements in children's early relations that enhance their growth toward becoming caring persons:

* Bonding: forming positive connections and a sense of communion with others

* Empathizing: understanding others' feelings and emotions, sometimes even feeling what they feel

* Learning caring norms: acquiring rules and values, learning to recognize caring for what it is and to respond to care with care

* Practicing care and assuming personal responsibility: participating in activities and developing a sense of personal obligation for doing so.

Bonding engages children in healthy connections to their parents and family in ways that help them visualize the world around them as a positive and good place (Eisenberg, 1992). Positive bonding is known to enhance children's problem-solving skills (Goldstein, 1998).

…

The primary goal of the brain is to enable the organism to survive. The key to survival and to human dominance on the planet is our ability to adapt to the kind of environment in which we find ourselves. Live video photographs can now show us that both the organic matter and the chemistry of the human brain change in response to our environments to allow us to cope with variables in our worlds. (p. 25)

Interestingly, the changes in brain structure that lead to violence and aggression seem to begin even before birth. We now know, for example, that some children come into the world with genetic dispositions toward violence that are caused by their mother's exposure to high levels of stress, cigarette smoke, or alcohol and other drugs during their prenatal period. Other babies' experiences in infancy create imbalances in brain chemicals. We have physical evidence demonstrating how prenatal and early experiences make some individuals' brains prone to violence and aggression (Lally, 1997).

…

Child Care: An Integral Part of Many Young Children's Community

By some accounts, between 44 and 57 percent of children in the United States (and an even larger proportion when considering only 3- and 4-year-olds) spend at least part of each day in non-familial care (Tout, Zaslow, Papillo, & Vandivere, 2001). Thus, it is essential that child care centers contribute to efforts that support children's developing abilities to care for and about others. This is more likely to occur in quality child care settings where children have the opportunity to develop strong emotional attachments to their regular caregivers. These intimate relationships with their caregivers, along with the close bonds those children are developing with their families, make critical contributions to the children's social and emotional learning (National Research Council and Institute of Medicine, 2000).

Quality child care that nurtures the creation of healthy attachments between children and caregivers is characterized by appropriate ratios and group size, low staff turnover and, most critically, staffing patterns that facilitate primary caregiving and continuity of care. Primary caregiving creates a circle of intimacy linking children, their caregivers, and their parents. It creates a framework for consistency because, under ordinary circumstances, the same caregiver greets each child and his/her parent upon their arrival, tends to the child's needs throughout the day, and is there upon the parent's return to personally share the day's happenings. One strategy to ensure continuity of care is looping, a staffing pattern that keeps children and caregivers together over long periods of time (preferably for several years), which supports and enhances intimate caring relationships. These characteristics of quality give caregivers opportunities to nurture and support the children in their care (Lally, n.d.).

Nurturance is giving. It is critically important throughout the early years, although it takes different forms as the child grows. The immediate nurturing response appropriate when caring for a very young infant (one cannot "spoil" a baby in the first year) should be replaced by the message "I'm here if you want me" as the child grows into a toddler (Lally, n.d.). Nurturing takes yet another form when toddlers become preschoolers. Three- to 5-year-olds need more independence as they build a sense of self-efficacy. Nurturing them means giving them a safe space to grow and being available as needed for encouragement and support. Primary age children benefit from opportunities to exert their growing independence and initiative in an encouraging and supportive emotional climate. In short, all children benefit from home/school relationships that are characterized by mutual trust and positive regard.

Supporting young children means giving them opportunities to achieve to the fullest of their potential. Infants need freedom to explore their surroundings in ways that help them achieve the developmental milestones that mark the shifts from early infancy, through the mobile period, into toddlerhood. They need to mouth, touch, bang, and sometimes throw objects to learn about themselves and the outside world. Caregivers provide this support by "acknowledging children's powerful feelings, encouraging curiosity and independence, and at the same time, teaching and enforcing the rules that allow children and adults to live in harmony" (Lally, n.d.). When teachers and programs support preschoolers, they encourage their emerging initiative. Children's interests shape the curriculum and they contribute to the creation of a classroom environment that reflects the group's shared history. School-age children's needs are met in similar ways, through the implementation of a meaningful curriculum and the creation of classrooms that reflect their interests, accomplishments, and activities. These learning environments contribute to the creation of a community of learners in which caring for one's self, for others, and for the environment are woven into the fabric of their lives together (Noddings, 1992).

…

Let us never forget that early childhood presents once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to prepare young children's brains for a lifetime of either harmony and peace or struggle and conflict. Let us seize these opportunities to enhance young children's chances for joyful lives and provide the children in our care the kinds of homes and communities that will help them actualize their potential to the fullest.

…

How Caring Families Can Make a Difference

Parents and families play a formative role and exert a profound influence on children's growth and learning. This is especially so when teaching children to be caring, peaceful, and decent persons (Swick, 2001). The early foundation provided for emotional health and a positive social pattern of living is indeed powerful. Karr-Morse and Wiley (1997) note that emotionally healthy relationships early in life act as a buffer to violent behavior.

What is it about early parental and family attachments that help shape the child's schema of how the social and emotional world works? The interactive and modeling processes that happen in loving and caring parent-child relations are key. Karr-Morse and Wiley (1997) describe it this way:

The foundation for empathy is laid from the beginning. When the early months of an infant's experience include consistent, sensitive interactions in which the caregiver accurately assesses the child's needs and responds quickly in a soothing manner, and when a child's sadness or joy is mirrored in the face of the parent, the child experiences comfort and trust with the caregiver. (p. 189)

The full article is available at the link below:

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3614/is_200410/ai_n9456081/

Boredom is good for kids…

2010-02-21T19:41:00Z

The following excerpts were taken from the Boston Globe, written by Barbara Meltz for full article see link below.

"If you want to raise children who can think critically, who can solve problems of all kinds -- and we do, that's our mission -- they need the chance to think uninterrupted," she says.

That's rare these days.

Beginning in infancy, children are bombarded with noise, stimulation, and instant gratification, from crib mobiles with flashing lights and music to DVD entertainment systems for the car. Quiet time? It's virtually programmed into children never to have it.

…

"The gadgetry may distract a baby from crying, but does he ever discover his toes?" wonders Wheelock early-childhood educator Diane Levin.

She means that on two levels. Literally, the fussy baby who is left alone long enough to find his toes (not more than a few minutes, after all) is making the first step in a long journey. "He's figuring out that he can entertain and distract himself," Levin says. "He's also learning something profound: that he has the capacity to solve his own problem."

…

"It's been happening ever since children started watching more TV, about 20 years ago," says Levin. "As the process for interacting with the world becomes more passive, children are robbed of the process of being an active agent in their own lives."

There are no statistics or studies on this yet; it's something that will play out as time passes. Researchers and educators do know, however, that children learn best by initiating, manipulating, and observing cause and effect.

Levin has coined a term: problem-solving deficit disorder. Minneapolis psychologist and author David Walsh, founder and president of the National Institute on Media and the Family (mediaandthefamily.org), has one, too: mental operating software.

"It's as if this software is wired into them in the crib that sets an expectation for entertainment and instant gratification," he says. "As a result, when things get tough, children are more likely to throw up their hands and throw in the towel than figure out what to do."

…

Indeed, Levin says problem-solving is a cumulative skill that gives a child a sense of inner power.

"The more you do it, the better you are at it and the more you feel good about yourself as a learner, a social being, and a thinker," she says. "A problem-solver is someone who says, `I can affect the world. I can figure out how to build this tower so it won't fall. I can tell the teacher there's a problem on the playground.' "

…

Olfman wonders if we are seeing more children labeled with Attention Deficit Disorder and other behavioral and cognitive disabilities as a by-product of inadequate problem-solving skills.

"There's no question in my mind that we have more restless, agitated, and unhappy children because they are dependent on instant gratification," she says. "Life is boring when you haven't acquired the capacity to solve problems as basic as knowing how to fill your own time. Why wouldn't that lead to acting-out behaviors that get you labeled at school and eventually even medicated?" Olfman is editor of the "Childhood in America" series (Praeger Press).

http://www.Boston.com/yourlife/home/articles/2004/01/22/there_are_benefits_to_boredom/?page=2

Carseat Safety

2010-02-13T21:17:00Z

Appropriately securing a carseat is a big struggle for many parents, though one that is extremely important that we do correctly. One of our enrolled parents just shared a wonderful link about carseat safety including securing the seat, and types of carseats available: http://www.car-safety.org/basics.html

Below is an excerpt from the above website:

“According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, motor vehicle crashes are the #1 killer of kids in age groups 1-14. Safe Kids USA says motor vehicle crashes are the #1 cause of unintentional injury-related death for all children 14 and under. While some crashes are unsurvivable, over 57% of deaths for children 0-15 were because the child was unrestrained. Many more were improperly restrained. Nationally, the misuse rate for child safety seats is over 80% and as high as 95% in some areas. The good news is that correct use of car seats and boosters does save lives. Infant seats have been shown to reduce fatal injury by 71%, and toddler seats by 54%. The information and links on this web page can help you with one of the easiest and most important ways you can protect your children.”

Another great Q & A site is mentioned at the bottom of the page: http://www.carseatsite.com/FAQ.htm

How do I enforce rules consistently within my household without hurting my child’s developing sense of self?

2010-02-02T03:01:00Z

“My challenge is this, it seems each time I put my foot down, so does my toddler. How do I teach her that she needs to respect us, and the decisions we make for her?”

There are many different techniques that you can use as a parent, behavior modification, role modeling and natural and logical consequences. For the purpose of this blog, we will discuss consequences…

The Experts:

All works below summarized and sited in: Guiding Children’s Social Development: Theory to Practice 4^th ed. 2002 by Kostelnik, Whiren, Soderman, Stein and Gregory.

Problem: Children constantly try to determine what constitutes in-bounds and out-of-bounds behavior. The only way they can discover these differences is to test them out by repeated trial and error. Since adults vary in their willingness to obtain compliance, children test each adult with whom they come in contact to discover that person’s limits. Both forms of testing frequently result in misbehavior.

Solution: The way to resolve behavior problems related to mixed messages and limit testing is to enforce rules consistently through the use of consequences.

Consequences are events that make a particular behavior more or less likely to happen in the future. Positive consequences increase the chances that behaviors will be repeated, and inhibiting consequences reduce them.

Remember, consequences must correspond with the misbehavior in order for it to teach the lesson…

The Experts:

Guidance of Young Children 5^th ed. 1999 by M. Marion.

Guiding Young Children: A Problem Solving Approach, 2001 by E. Reynolds.

Positive consequences are those that reward children for maintaining a rule. One of the most common, and most effective, is to reinforce children with a positive personal message. When adults affirm children’s compliance using this skill, children are likely to comply again in the future. This is because a positive personal message reminds children of the rule and its rationale at a time when they have demonstrable proof that they are able to follow it.

The Experts:

Constructive Guidance and Discipline: Preschool and Primary Education, 2^nd ed., 1997, by Fields and Boesser.

Teaching Children to Care: Management in the Responsive Classroom, 1998, by R.S. Charney.

Negative consequences are constructive actions aimed at helping children recognize the impact their behavior has on themselves and others. They are founded on the idea that reason is the basis for behavior change, and they are implemented with the long-term goal of teaching children self-discipline.

Negative consequences help children learn acceptable conduct from the experience of being corrected. They enable children to approximate desired acts. These serve as practice for the future and make it more likely that children will succeed in repeating appropriate behaviors independently.

The Experts: Setting Limits in the Classroom: Moving Beyond the Classroom Dance of Discipline, 1998, by R.J. MacKenzie.

Types of Negative Consequences: Natural consequences and Logical consequences.

Natural Consequences happen without intervention, they show children that their actions are significant and do influence what happens to them. For instance, children who come home late for lunch may suffer the natural consequence of eating cold food or eating alone because everyone else is finished. Children who talk while the homework is being assigned may miss the page numbers. Children who fail to put their sneakers in the locker may lose them.

These repercussions all are a direct result of circumstance rather than of adult manipulation of the environment. Hence, there are times when adults do not have to create a consequence because the outcome follows directly from the child’s action…. Natural Consequences are very effective in teaching children what to do and what not to do and are well suited for many situations. However, they cannot be relied on when children’s safety is jeopardized.

The Experts: Teaching Children to Care: Management in the Responsive Classroom, 1998, by R.S. Charney. New Approach to Discipline: Logical Consequences, 1993 by Dreikurs and Grey. Setting Limits in the Classroom: Moving Beyond the Classroom Dance of Discipline, 1998, by R.J. MacKenzie.

Logical Consequences are directly related to the rule. This means there is an obvious connection between the child’s behavior and the resulting disciplinary action. Logical consequences generally take one of three forms:

Rehearsal - children approximate or practice a desired behavior – such as if a child is running down the hall, to have him or her go back and walk. The act of walking serves as a more vivid reminder of the rule than would simply scolding.

Restitution – children make genuine amends for their misbehavior – such as if children throw food on the floor, it would be logical to insist that they clean it up.

Temporary Loss of Privilege – for a brief time, children forfeit a privilege they have abused – such as a child at school messing around in the hallway. The child would then loose the privilege of being out in the hallway alone.

I can site so many examples of consequences for even the youngest child, and many have nothing to do with a discipline situation. Here are just a few below:

Ages 6-8 months:

Behavior: Baby is making sounds.

Solution: The parent responds by smiling widely and showing the baby lots of attention. Participates in back and forth communication, which encourages the baby to ‘talk’ more.

Form of Consequence: Positive.

Age 11-18 months:

Behavior: Baby continually throws pacifier out of crib.

Solution: Do not retrieve it. I know it sounds uncaring, but if you continually retrieve it, your little one will learn that you will continually retrieve it, even if it’s 3am! I promise, if you stop retrieving it, he or she will learn not to throw it out.

(This is also true of the child who throws his cup off the highchair)

Form of Consequence: Natural

Ages 1-2:

Behavior: Child refuses to eat his lunch.

Solution: Put lunch in the refrigerator and offer it again later. He will get hungry, and he will eventually eat. Of course, he is going to test your will in the meantime, but you need to keep the same set of expectations for your child. If he does not end up eating the meal later in the day, then he can wait for the next meal. Hopefully he will like at least a part of what you are serving for that meal, but if not, again, just save him some left overs.
If you become the parent who allows your child to dictate what is eaten in your household, you will be making a separate meal for each member of the family. You also will not be teaching your child respectful table manners, and your child will instinctively learn to reject any new food offered. (This is a whole topic of its own, which I will save for a later blog).

Form of Consequence: Logical.

Ages 2-4 years:

Behavior: Child gets a hold of a crayon and colors all over the house.

Solution: The child needs to scrub off the marks.

Form of Consequence: Logical- restitution

Ages 2-6 years:

Behavior: Child makes a huge mess with her toys.

Solution: Certainly, the parent asks the child to begin cleaning, hopefully by reminding to clean one thing at a time, and not the whole room. Then quickly, before the child has time to refuse, saying something positive about your child’s cleaning ability, or how happy it makes you when she is a big girl and cleans up her messes.

Form of Consequence: Positive

Ages 2-4 years:

Behavior: Child injures another child.

Solution: The child needs to make amends. (This doesn’t necessarily mean to say I’m sorry – as sometimes making your child say sorry can backfire – visualize the child shouting, “I SAID I’M SORRY!”). He or she can hug, hold ice on, and or do something nice for the other child.

Form of Consequence: Logical - restitution

Ages 4- teen years:

Behavior: Child is asked to put away his clothes. He surprises you and not only puts them away, but cleans out his drawers too.

Solution: Praise the child and let him know how proud you are of him. Your attention will encourage him in the future.

Form of Consequence: Positive - reward

Ages 3-6 years:

Behavior: Child throws a temper tantrum because he is not allowed to get a toy at the grocery store.

Solution: The parent continues shopping (you do not allow the child to dictate that you leave). After the shopping excursion, the child is not allowed to go with the parent for the next shopping trip, and the child is reminded of his past behavior.

Form of Consequence: Logical- temporary loss of privilege.

Ages 12- upper teen years:

Behavior: Child is continually home before curfew, without being asked to be.

Solution: The child may deserve an extension of his or her privileges, to show your appreciation for his or her obedience.

Form of Consequence: Positive

Ages 3- teen years:

Behavior: Child is rude to a visitor, family member, friend, caregiver, teacher, adult, etc.

Solution: The parent should speak with the child in private, explain how the other person must feel after being spoken to that way, and then, this is important... The child needs to apologize. He or she will probably be terribly embarrassed, which is good. Hopefully, the current embarrassment will remind the child in the future not to behave in that manner.

Form of Consequence: Logical– rehearsal and restitution

In conclusion, consequences are just a very rational way to enact a discipline that is appropriate for the circumstances. The beauty of most consequences are that you the parent are giving your child ownership of his or her behavior, and the consequence is holding your child accountable.

The Library, So Much Fun For Kids...

2010-01-22T01:10:00Z

An absolutely fantastic resource for parents: http://www.cmpl.org/

The Clinton Macomb Public Library has so many fun things to do for kids! There are reading groups (including one where children read to dogs - PAWS for Reading), art activities, games, lapsit storytelling hours, movie matinees, music and movement activities for children, and much more…

Children can check out books, movies, tape stories, computer games, video games, and even request items from any library in Michigan. For big kids there is a link on their site for homework help! You can even check out a Museum Adventure Pass for free admission to many Michigan museums!

My kids love to spend time at the library looking at books, reading recent kids magazines, playing the computer, watching the train, it’s a ton of fun! I remember each of them getting their own library cards, what a cool experience. Now when we go, they get to check out everything all on their ownJ

Parents can join reading groups, take classes on computers, finance, etc, get free digital downloads, peruse the book recommendations and even use the computers free of charge to access the internet.

Such a great resource for us living in MacombCountyJ

I’m at wits end! How do I stop my children from whining?

2010-01-13T02:25:00Z

Throughout childhood, children continually will try to assert their will in any given situation. It is part of growing and maturing. Some parents feel that it is only their child or children who whines or challenges every direction given, but happily, this is not the case. All children test their parents. Understand though, that it is the parents’ response to these assertive moments that will determine their child’s future behaviors.

In the meantime, have a family meeting (in my household we have them weekly), and put forth a new No Whining Rule. Explain to the children that when they need something they need to talk to you without whining, and that if they do whine you will definitely not do for them what they are asking. Do a quick role-playing exercise between parents, one parent is the whiner and the other is the calm assertive parent who reminds the ‘child’ to talk like a big boy or girl. The kids will get a kick out of seeing their parent(s) act this way, and it will be a visual example that they will remember.

Then when confronted with the situation, remind the child to talk like a big boy/girl, and tell the child that if he or she does not, that you will walk away and they will not get what they want. Then, always make sure that when they ask nicely, they receive praise (like, “Wow, I am so proud that you talked to me like a big girl”), but remember that you do not necessarily have to give in, you can just explain why their demand isn’t okay at that time. If your child then reverts to whining, walk away, send him or her into a room that whining is allowed in, and disengage from the struggle.

I recognize that sometimes it is extremely difficult to stand firm in your expectations (believe me I have been challenged many many times). Though, when you think about the larger consequence to giving in you must understand that the mixed message you send will continue to plague your family. To give in shows the child that you are willing to negotiate, unless you want to continue negotiating day after day, you must enact household or family rules and stay consistent in your expectations of your children. Whining will not go away on its own. Your child needs to see that you mean what you say and you will not waiver in your decision. In time, the struggle will conclude and you will have a happy household again.

This excerpt is from The Discipline Book by Sears and Sears:

How can such an irritating sound as whining come from such adorable little people? It combines pleading, demanding, pestering, and nagging interspersed with sniffles and sobs. It escalates in pitch until either the whiner wears out (this can take a long time) or the listener wears down (this takes only a short time). Most children whine sometime between ages two and a half and four as they are trying out various voices for the effect on listeners. The reason they stick with it so long is they often find it works like a charm.

Depending on the audience response, they will either go on to develop more annoying sound or refine their tone to more pleasant speech.

This excerpt is from The Strong Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson:

First: Define the Boundaries Before they are Enforced.

The most important step in any disciplinary procedure is to establish reasonable expectations and boundaries in advance. The child should know what is and what is not acceptable behavior before he is held responsible for those rules.

Second: When Defiantly Challenged, Respond with Confident Decisiveness.

Once a child understands what is expected, he should then be held accountable for behaving accordingly. That sounds easy, but as we have seen, most children will assault the authority of their elders and challenge their right to lead. In a moment of rebellion, a little child will consider his parents’ wishes and defiantly choose to disobey. Like a military general before a battle, he will calculate the potential risk, marshal his forces, and attack the enemy with guns blazing. When that nose to nose confrontation occurs between generations, it is extremely important for the adult to win decisively and confidently.

This excerpt is from Nanny 911 by Carroll and Reid:

…Whiners are not born. They’re Made. …Whining also escalates because parents are so used to attending to their babies’ every need that they swoop in the minute they hear crying. This is fine for very young babies who do need a swift response to their distress. It is not fine for toddlers who whine and cry simply to get attention – and who’ve trained mom and dad will do anything to stop the crying.

STOP THE WHINING TECHNIQUE

1. Tell children to use their words.

2. Acknowledge the situation and shift the conversation away from the whining.

3. Ask how the child is really feeling.

4. Involve the child in coming up with a solution to the problem that caused the whining in the first place.

In the above steps, use your words, can sometimes be confusing, it’s an abstract concept that some children have difficulty interpreting. I am now telling children to ‘talk,’ it is a more concrete explanation of the behavior you are looking for.

Help! My Preschooler Will Not Let Me Brush Her Teeth!

2010-01-02T03:24:00Z

Ahh, the joy’s of parenting a strong willed little oneJ Read below for some information from the American Academy of Pediatrics:

“By age two and a half your child should have all his primary (or baby) teeth, including the second molars, which usually erupt between twenty and thirty months.” “As you might guess, the number one dental problem among preschoolers is tooth decay. Approximately 8 percent of two-year-olds already have one or more cavities, and by age three that number increases to nearly 60 percent.”

(Caring For Your Baby and Young Child Birth To Age 5, 1993, p. 308)

So clearly, we know how important it is to brush our little protester’s teeth, but what to do? I have to admit, at around two years old, my middle son was not so fond of getting his teeth brushed either! We tried it all, between wrestling him down and trying to gently pry his mouth open, to the Jedi-mind trick, boy was it a challenge! Here are some tips that helped in my own household, as well as tricks used by some of my clients:

Model proper tooth brushing techniques in front of your child (my little ones always enjoyed sitting on the bathroom counter watching mommy get ready for bedtime – brushing teeth, washing face etc.)
Eat a messy food together and make it fun to brush away the mess (blueberries, cookies, etc.), perhaps she could help you brush your teeth!
Sing a fun tooth brushing song like Raffi’s “Brush Your Teeth” (to hear the tune) http://new.music.yahoo.com/raffi/tracks/brush-your-teeth--764602
Role-play dentist office with your child. A great time to do this is after her first dentist visit. (American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children see a dentist by the end of their second year).
Buy an electric toothbrush for her to use, today there are some great ones with favorite kid characters.
Check out the local library for books with characters that go to the dentist, loose a tooth etc. Hearing a familiar story might spike interest in proper dental hygiene. Ask your librarian for favorites.
To further her interest in keeping her teeth clean, get her some color pages about teeth www.preschoolcoloringbook.com/color/cpdental.shtml
Print out a fun tooth brushing chart (get some stickers) for your child to track her big girl tooth brushing skills.
Videotape your child brushing her teeth (my oldest loves watching himself on video, and some camera’s allow you to turn the screen around so that the person being videoed can see themselves). Perhaps watching herself on video would be a desired reward for brushing her teeth.

Finally, implement a familiar family routine surrounding tooth brushing, and stay consistent. Many children thrive on consistency, and though your child may not love a part of a routine, she will get used to it. Soon enough you will find that conflict diminishes, and getting her teeth brushed will become a normal part of her daily routine.